Another nest...

Over the years, I've come to realise that there may be advantages to revisiting old methods, giving them the once-over and opting to try something new. It's often difficult to leave one's comfy little nest - in this case my Blogger blog - after all, I'm warm and happy here but I'm still a little hesitant in recreating yet another nest. After all, it ain't broke, so why am I fixin' it....?

Well, for one, it keeps me on my toes - I have a leaning towards "mañana, baby..." at times - probably a throwback to my "marijuana, baby..." days and the soft option - to stay put and do nothing - often arrests my blogging development. And so... a shrug and a sigh and a flutter of the wings and I realise they weren't clipped at all. They were just relaxed...but poised. Much as I am myself these days.

And so... I'd like to welcome you into my new nest. It's a little rough around the edges and it's full of all the twigs and feathers from this one - I mean, I've just moved in and am still finding my way around - but I know I'll have it cosy in no time... but with much more room to expand and entertain my guests... with virtual cups of tea and dialogue - singing alone in my nest is fine and dandy but when I hear someone else's song, in response to my own, then it makes me want to sing all the more.... So... sing it loud, sing it clear and invite your friends along for a visit to my new Wordpress (eventually all-singin'-all-dancin') blog - and maybe even my website... and who knows... mañana might become a thing of the past.... Anything's possible!


http://positivefootsteps.wordpress.com/

Other People's Perceptions...

"What are people going to think?".... If you find yourself asking that question on a regular basis, you're probably too concerned about other people's reality and maybe have lost some sense of your own. Some years ago, I was overwhelmed by feelings of what can best be described as paranoia - the idea that people were criticising me was excruciating... I mean... why would they, when I tried so hard to please them...? Aha! Therein lies the rub.... People-pleasing, being nice, over-conscientousness, trying too hard... they're all part of the same package. Needing to be needed. Many moons ago, I've seen myself working lunch-hours, getting in to work early, finishing late, taking work home, not claiming for extra hours... Yes, I did love my job... But 'love' doesn't seem the right word somehow.

The feeling of 'letting others down' if I didn't do MORE THAN was expected of me was omnipresent. If I didn't manage to achieve the unbelievably high expectations I'd set of myself, I'd feel bad, disappointed and sometimes despairing. That becomes a default setting when we set our goalposts beyond reach... It keeps us in that negative space of not being good enough. But if we should reach them, we move them.... without a second glance back at what we've accomplished. The consequences? Disillusionment, feeling 'taken for granted', frustration and slipping self-care generally follow.

What I needed to do - and eventually learned to do - was to work on my need to please others and to begin the process of rethinking my expectations. I even began to acknowledge my successes when I reached a goal (imagine that!) and to give myself a quiet pat on the back for a job well done. Often people who've spent a lifetime worrying about what others think of them find it hard to acknowledge their successes, for fear of being thought of as smug or arrogant.

Self-care shows up again... going to bed before midnight, eating sensibly, cutting down on alcohol (if used), building in relaxation and repeating affirmations. After all...

"Other people's perceptions of me do not have to become my reality."

I have a choice!