I found myself in a rather full-on codependent crazy mode for a few days, a couple of weeks ago, which rather took me by surprise. After many years in recovery from addiction and self-development work, I still find that being around certain individuals can bring out the codependent beast in me and I begin to recycle the rubbish of years gone by, wallowing in past miseries, holding on to resentments long overdue for return to my sacred space of health and wellbeing...and, consequently, feeling rather down on myself.
Last week, thankfully, I checked in to my sacred space and, much to my amazement, I had to acknowledge a few other nasties which had been lurking (unseen) in the Swampland part of my mind.
Swampland is my term of endearment for that dark place where garbage festers... where self-worth and self-esteem float about in stagnant water with negative self-talk, guilt and angst... seemingly unable to swim into fresh, clear and free-flowing thinking, as they remain locked in the past. Anger, resentment, self-pity and fear creep around in the swamp, only able to survive because I permit them to do so. Groundhog Day, indeed.
So how did my thinking move from muddy to clear...? How did I manage to break free from the shackles of codependency revisited? I consulted Melody Beattie's work, I kick-started my self-care rituals, I used affirmations... and I kept good company!
Tending to our own psychological environment is every bit as important as looking after the natural world. When you're throwing out the garbage at home, perhaps consider if there's anything festering in your own Swampland that you might be able to dispose of in your sacred space of health and well-being... These reminders are never useless... this kind of learning makes great compost!
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